it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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