you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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