You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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