My girlfriend figured out who you are.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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