I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
