My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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