i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
