there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she peed on how many people?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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