But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
