Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
