i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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