Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize