i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
