This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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