is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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