you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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