This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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