i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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