She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
