she smelled like a LAN party
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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