I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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