how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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