Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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