Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
