The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
