Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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