She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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