I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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