The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
