We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
