Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
