I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
