i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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