I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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