Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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