apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
