I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
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The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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