Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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