Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
