I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
