ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
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i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
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He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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