Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
