I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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