She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize