Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
