No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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