A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize