Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
