but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sorry my hands just texted you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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