I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Are my feet made of real feet?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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