I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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