I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
