im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
