No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize