He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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