are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
