R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
