hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
