"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
