I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
