Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
