so that wasnt chicken after all
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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